Sunshine
by UndeadDolly
Summary: "He's hopeless - damaged goods, not desirable anymore. Who would want someone so ugly, anyway?"
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.**

**Warning: Kaneki/Hide.**

**Note: Enjoy.**

**Summary: **"He's hopeless - damaged goods, not desirable anymore. Who would want someone so ugly, anyway?"

Chapter One

He lowered the camera.

He watched them, with a small smile. The couple kissed - passionately and lovingly, just before embracing.

He wanted that too, except that's impossible. He's hopeless - damaged goods, not desirable anymore.

Who would want someone so ugly, anyway?

XOXO

He adjusted the scarf.

He was self-conscious, even insecure nowadays. He was afraid all the time - suffering from nightmares, with anxiety attacks, too.

He was prescribed medication, but they weren't effective. It was no use taking them, then. It never helped him, anyway.

"There you are, Hide."

"You wanted to talk, Kaneki."

"We're having a dance. I thought you should come."

"I don't think so. I'm fine with dorm parties, but not formal dances. Besides, I don't have a date, like you do."

"You don't need one. If you really want one, I'm sure you'll find someone at the dance who's without a date. Anyway, I just want my best friend there for me."

"Fine, I'll come, then. You have to save me a dance, though."

"Thanks, Hide. And, I promise I will."

XOXO

He was lonely.

He felt uninvited, too. Unlike Kaneki and the others, Hide was human.

He came only for Kaneki, though. The ghoul was dancing - swaying and twirling Touka, who he hated deep down. She had him - coiled around her finger, like the other ghouls here.

He didn't trust them, not one. His friend trusted them though, even replaced him with those ghouls.

"You don't belong here."

"Is that so, Tsukiyama? Well, Kaneki asked me to come."

"He did so out of pity."

"He did so because we're best friends. I've known him longer than you have. I've known him since he was human. You can't threaten me, Tsukiyama. Why don't you go bother someone else, then?"

"Whatever."

XOXO

He still felt betrayed.

He was clinging onto the past. He ought to let go, especially because Kaneki has. He loved Kaneki, though. He just can't move on, then.

It's not that simple. It's easier said than done, like always. It's a work in theory, just an appealing idea.

"Why are you leaving so soon?"

"I'm tired, Hinami. It's getting late, anyway. Besides, I have class tomorrow."

"Kaneki would want you to be here, though."

"I'm not so sure. Kaneki looks like he's having more fun without me. Bye, Hinami, I'll see you later."

"Goodbye, Hide."

XOXO

It was cold.

He hugged himself. He would've called a cab, but his phone wasn't working. It was out of battery, like always nowadays.

He never received texts or calls, anyway. His phone remained barely charged, then. That didn't bother him, though.

He stopped outside a building. It was a cosmetology center, but for cosmetic surgery.

"Are you interested in scheduling an appointment, sir?"

"I don't think you'd be able to fix me."

"There is nothing we can't fix, sir."

"I guess I should give you a chance. I don't have anything to lose, anyway."

"You won't be disappointed, sir. We won't let you down."

"I hope not."

XOXO

It was unnerving.

He watched the surgeon, with curious eyes. He was being studied - marked by a black sharpie, where he'll be operated on. He was aware of the procedure - seen them on television, which had been depicted correctly. It's a surprise - considering Hollywood exaggerates everything, especially a certain genre.

His surgeon moved back, then. He was given a mirror, but couldn't take the mirror. He looked away - blond eyebrows furrowing together, as his chin began trembling. He started sobbing - breaking down, a regular occurrence now.

"You remind me of my son."

"H-How can I possibly remind you of your son?"

"My son was a lovestruck boy, too. He was naively loyal, to this girl who didn't give a damn about him. She drove him to his death, to his undoing."

"I-I'm so sorry."

"It's quite alright. That happened years ago, but I get sentimental sometimes. Don't worry, I'll help you get over them."

"I-I don't understand."

"I couldn't help my son. That doesn't mean I can't help you, though. There's no need to thank me, either."

"I still should thank you. This means a lot to me."

XOXO

It was a gas mask.

It temporarily occupied him - making him feel drowsy and delirious, his body numb. He was awake for now, not for long. He couldn't fight anymore, but still kept trying to.

A nurse brushed his hair, as his eyes began drooping down. It was comforting and soothing him - lulling sleep to him, so he couldn't resist. He then surrendered and succumbed - consciousness slipping away, to the realm of dreams.

"It's alright, Hide. You're in good hands."

"I'm so tired … "

"I know you are. I heard my son say the same thing, too. Let me take care of you, then."

"I try so hard. It's just never enough. I'll never be good enough for him … "

"He doesn't deserve you, like that bitch didn't deserve my son. I'll make you a jewel, the greatest mistake of his life. You have my word, Hide."

"I spent my whole life dedicated to him. I want my life back. I need my life back … "

"I'll restore you to your former glory. I'll give you more than just life. I'll give you a purpose of living again."

"That's what I've been missing. For my whole life, I made him my purpose of living … "

"That's where you went wrong. You shouldn't make someone your reason of living in this cruel, cruel world."

"I only know now. If I had known before, I would've let him go a lot sooner … "

"Can you be so sure of yourself?"

"Maybe I can't. But, I know I can't continue on like this … "

"That's why I'm here. I'm going to make you better."

"I'm entrusting myself to you. I don't know what else to do anymore."

"You came to the right place. You came to me. I have dealt with these problems before."

"You will cure me, right?"

"Of course, I will. I gave you my word, Hide."

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? Leave me your thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: Kaneki/Hide.**

Chapter Two

He woke up.

He looked around, but felt lost. He indeed was - couldn't remember or recognize, not a thing. He began panicking - chest deflating and inflating, as his heart thumped and thudded.

He heard footsteps, of doctors and nurses. He stood up - ripping his IV, out of him. He became restrained - strapped down, onto his bed. He started struggling - thrashing around, overall overpowered and overwhelmed.

XOXO

He sobbed loudly.

He'd been briefed - told everything, of his accident. He suffered neurological complications - hit his head, scarred himself horribly. He underwent surgery - many cosmetic surgeries, salvaging himself.

He'd been sedated - given sleeping medications, to calm him. It was working - slowly taking effect, inducing sleep.

"You're beautiful, just beautiful."

"Who are you?"

"I'm your doctor, William Crawford. You were in a car crash, a severe car crash. You suffered neurological complications."

"When will my memories return?"

"I'm not sure. It could take days, months, or even years."

"You must do something, then."

"I did as much as I can. It's a matter of time."

"I can't wait that long, not knowing who I am."

"I will help you. It is a matter of time, though."

XOXO

He smiled widely.

The house was amazing - an enormous property, his doctor's property. He walked closer - through the gates, as his doctor followed. He went inside - enthusiastically exploring, an innate reaction.

It's his home now - a temporary residency, until his memories come. His bedroom been prepared - full of basic necessities, like stationery and toiletries and clothes.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Crawford."

"Your welcome, Hide. I hope you feel comfortable here."

"I'm sure I will."

"Oh, I've taken the liberty and enrolled you into a prestigious university. Your uniform is in the closet. Your school supplies and textbooks are on the desk."

"I wasn't aware."

"I figured attending school would jog up your memories a bit."

"I guess so."

"I heard classes start the next week. You have time to study, get ahead on lessons."

"I definitely will."

"That's a good boy."

XOXO

He sat down.

He ate quietly - slicing through the meat, favoring the smell. It tasted better – full of herbs and spices, flavors he hadn't tasted before.

He was presented dessert – fudge brownies, an enchanting chocolate doused and drenched brownies. It was so surgery – sweet and saccharine, a true chocolate delight.

"How is your dinner?"

"It's delicious, Mr. Crawford. The cooks did a wonderful job."

"Are you excited, to start school? It should jog your memories."

"I'm afraid I'm a bit nervous, Mr. Crawford."

"I completely understand. You went through quite an ordeal."

"I'll pull through."

"That's the spirit."

XOXO

The bell rang.

The other students stared – watching him curiously, explicitly because he's new. He fidgeted uncomfortably – slightly twitching and trembling, especially while being introduced. He blushed bright red – cheeks coloring crimson, emphasizing his freckles. He hid his face – lowering his eyes, even when he spoke.

His hair blocked everybody - a veil concealing him, of blond locks. It had grown - shoulder length exactly, on winter break. It suited him - the mature appearance, overall really well.

"I'm Professor Reed. Why don't you tell the class about yourself?"

"My name is Hideyoshi Nagachika, but I prefer Hide. I love horror movies and music. I also like playing video games. I hope we get along."

"I'm sure we will, Hide. I have a desk for you by the window."

"Thank you."

"Let's begin today's lecture, then."

XOXO

The silence was unnerving.

He was anxious – jittery and jumpy, even somewhat claustrophobic. He kept getting stares – studied and scrutinized, especially because he's new. He hated the attention – the subtle glances and glimpses, explicitly standing out.

He watched the time - chewing his lip, which hurt soon. He leaned back - solving another equation, wearily and woefully.

"Are you alright, Hide?"

"I'm fine, Professor."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"Can we talk after class, then? I have few things I want to discuss with you."

"I have a time."

"Perfect."

XOXO

The classroom emptied.

He stayed behind - sitting in his desk, as his classmates left. His professor waved goodbye - before coming over, an envelope with him. It's important clearly - containing private and personal information, a curious conversation worth having.

He leaned forward - blond eyebrows furrowing together, in intrigue and interest. His head turned – tilting and tipping sideways, including his hair. His hands folded – atop his desk, intertwined and interweaved intricately.

"When you transferred, I received your medical history. During break, I read over them. And, I learned about your recent … condition."

"You're referring to my amnesia."

"I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you, that you can come to me if you ever need help."

"That's very kind of you."

"If there is anything I can do, just let me know."

"Yeah, I will."

"Alright, I will see you tomorrow."

"Yup."

"Don't procrastinate on your homework."

XOXO

It didn't work.

He fled from campus - disappointed and dispirited, but mostly heartbroken. He flopped down - on a swing, built by wood. He swayed - back and forth, before suddenly gasping.

He saw someone – watching him from afar, with white hair and silver eyes. They approached him – then kneeling down, warily stroking his cheek. They strangely smiled – circling behind him, while pushing him.

"You look … gorgeous, Hide."

"T-Thank you …"

"I should've apologized sooner to you."

"W-What are you talking about?"

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have to go under a knife."

"I have to leave!"

"Wait!"

XOXO

It wasn't far.

The city materialized – tall and towering, an area harboring wondrous skyscrapers. He hurried there – frantically and fearfully running, as the other boy followed. He suddenly stumbled – tumbling and toppling over, a tragic setback.

He fell down – onto his back, while his head dangerously spun. He rolled over – reaching shakily out, with his hand. He looked up – security noticing him, who reacted instantly and instinctively.

"Why are you running from me, Hide?!"

"I don't know you …"

"What do you mean?!"

"I don't know you …"

"It's me, Kaneki, your best friend!"

XOXO

It happened quickly.

He's helped up – lifted into someone's arms, a guard's probably. He's carried away – to an awaiting vehicle, as Kaneki furiously protested. He's set down – in the backseat, an area where Mr. Crawford lounged.

The vehicle backed out - tires screeching and squealing, against the cement. He slumped down - ears carefully covered, as he heard shouting outside. It wouldn't stop - hurting his head, a delicate and docile thing.

"Hide!"

"P-Please stop …"

"You can't trust him, Hide!"

"S-Stop …"

"He's not a good man, Hide!"

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? Leave me your thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: Kaneki/Hide.**

Chapter Three

The bell rang.

He sat down - flopping down, in his assigned seat. He was anxious – still slightly nervous, albeit he's new. He hadn't friends – neither familiar faces, except only himself. He felt really alone - incredibly lonely, usual nowadays.

He was wary – distrustful of others, common among amnesia victims. He is essentially extremely vulnerable – easily suggestible, without his memories. It already happened yesterday – at the park, while weak.

XOXO

He left school.

A vehicle waited outside – parked nearby, just for him. It was onyx – classy and chic, but also sporty. He got inside – greeting two men, his driver and bodyguard. He shyly talked – asking about Crawford, who was working. He trusted Crawford – the elderly doctor, for selflessly helping patients.

A café emerged – quite quaint, but still charming. It was busy – college students studying and socializing, while drinking and eating. He saw the menu – eyeing strawberry shortcakes hungrily, stomach slightly grumbling and rumbling. He hadn't breakfast today – nor even eaten lunch, anxiety preventing bodily functions.

"Will you please pull over, sir? I would like to visit that café over there."

"Of course, Hide. Don't take too long, though. Mr. Crawford wants you home before dark, especially after what happened yesterday. We don't want a repeat of that incident, explicitly you running into that strange young man."

"I understand, sir. I'm just in a mood for some strawberry shortcakes. Can I get you gentlemen anything, like coffee or croissants or donuts?"

"That's not necessary, Hide."

"Oh, I insist. Mr. Crawford is buying. He gave me one of his credit cards, to do with as I please."

"In that case, I think we'll have two coffees and a box of donuts."

"That sounds wonderful. I'll be back as quick as I can."

"We'll be right here."

"Yes, I know. I'm sure I can see you two from the window."

"If you need us, then just look right over. We'll be keeping an eye on you."

"I promise I will."

XOXO

The staff gasped.

He didn't understand – thoroughly confused, by their reactions. He nearly turned around – ready to go, if he wasn't welcomed. He then inhaled deeply – slowly steadily walking, to the cash register. He began ordering items – perusing their menu, for more sweet things.

He was being observed – severely scrutinized, in every direction. He shifted uncomfortably – arms crossed, his head lowered. He looked down – avoiding eyes, that kept gawking. He waited impatiently – heartbeat fluttering, from those stares.

"You look … different. You don't seem like a William Crawford to me, though."

"That's because I'm not, but I am his adoptive son."

"What are you talking about? Why would Crawford take you in?"

"He's my doctor. He's helping me recover from a car crash. That's a nice name tag you got there. Will you please just swipe the card already, _Touka_?"

"What's the rush? Are you okay? And when did you get in a car crash?"

"I'm fine, except I'm having trouble recalling things. If you don't mind now, I would like to get home before dark."

"What do you mean? Are you saying you have amnesia? If that's true, then what 'Neki told me makes sense now."

"What are you going on about? Is my order almost ready?"

"I'll go check for you."

"Thanks."

XOXO

He heard chuckling.

He turned around – suddenly startled, by the waiter's stares. He stumbled backward – into the countertop, as the brunet advanced forward. He looked away – face slowly turning, to watch other customers conversing.

He couldn't leave – carefully cornered, like a rabbit. He was uneasy – muscles tense, for fight or flight. He was waiting – to be attacked, but wasn't surprisingly enough.

"_He_ was right. You look absolutely … gorgeous, but your head won't work correctly. You lost your memories, to some unfortunate _accident_."

"You shouldn't eavesdrop on people's conversations. You're an employee here. You should know better, _Nishiki_."

"I couldn't help myself. It's not every day I come across such a lovely customer."

"W-Why is that all I hear now?"

"It's the truth."

"W-Wasn't I lovely before?"

"I always thought you were."

"I don't understand anything, anything at all."

"You don't need to."

"W-Why would you say that?"

"You'll only be heartbroken."

"I'll only be heartbroken …"

XOXO

The sky darkened.

He sat down – on the porch swing, in his forestry backyard. He sighed tiredly – solving equations, and eating strawberry shortcake. He couldn't concentrate – mind preoccupied, with what happened at the café.

He heard leaves rustling – softly crunching, as shadowy silhouettes materialized. He gasped fearfully – textbooks falling, on the wooden floorboards. He fumbled around – grabbing a remote, illuminating his surroundings.

"N-No …"

"It's okay, Hide. It's just me."

"I don't know you …"

"You do, Hide. I'm your best friend, Kaneki. What has he done to you?"

"Mr. Crawford is a good man, a good doctor. He's helping me recover from a car crash. I also remind him of his son. I guess that's why he's taken me into his home."

"You were never in a car crash, Hide. You don't drive, just ride your bicycle everywhere. I would know because I'm your best friend."

"How can I believe you? I've just met you."

"If you'll let me, I can prove it to you. Please let me, Hide."

"I'll only be heartbroken …"

"What do you mean, Hide?"

"I was warned, that I'll only be heartbroken, that I'm better off not knowing who I was, that I should just stay aloof forever."

"Who told you that, Hide?"

"It was someone I must have known before, someone named Nishiki."

"You can't trust him, Hide!"

"I can't trust anyone!"

XOXO

He ran away.

He shut the door – locking himself inside, as he turned around. He heard banging – fists pounding, but blocked them out. He fell down – on his knees, ears covered tightly. He began sobbing – shedding teardrops, like when they _first_ met.

He felt pain – heading throbbing again, just hurting severely. He needed aspirins – special aspirins, ones Crawford prescribed him. It worked quickly – taking effect, numbing his mind and body.

"You can trust me, Hide. I would never lie to you."

"I don't believe you …"

"You're my best friend. I would never hurt you."

"I don't believe you …"

"Why won't you let me prove myself, then? Why do you keep pushing me away? I want you back. I need you back."

"You should go before my guards shoot you."

"I'll come back for you, though."

"They're going to shoot you."

"I won't let him screw with your head any longer. Maybe you'll remember me, then."

"I don't want to remember you! I don't want to remember anything!"

"You don't mean that!"

"Yes, I do!"

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? Leave me your thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Kaneki/Hide.**

Chapter Four

He looked outside.

He saw someone – friendly faces, the study group. He shyly smiled – swiftly standing, to meet with them. He blushed brightly – heartbeat hammering, as an upperclassman walked by. He then tripped – dropping down, in the crammed and crowded hallway.

He heard heckling – loud laughter, at his misfortune. He sighed simply – carefully collecting, his fallen items. He faltered forward – hugging himself, just comforting himself. He felt forsaken – all alone, with his amnesia.

XOXO

He waited patiently.

He was weary – totally tired, the study session strenuous. He simply sat – perfectly perched, on the green grass. He rarely relaxed – frequently fretting, if he'll ever remember. He loved leisure – trivial times, as they're terribly nostalgic.

He flinched fearfully – darting backward, the football missing. He felt fingers – tenderly touching, his chin lifting. He silently stared – pathetically peering, at the upperclassman. He blushed brightly – cheeks coloring, a noticeable crimson.

"You're the new kid, aren't you?"

"Y-Yeah, I just transferred. You can call me Hide."

"Are you alright? By the way, I'm Alex."

"Oh, I'm fine now."

"That's good. Well, I've got to return to practice. If you still need someone to show you around campus, then don't hesitate to ask me."

"Thank you."

"It's no problem. So I guess I'll see you around."

"Of course."

"Take care, then."

"You, too."

XOXO

He left school.

A car came – conveniently close, his driver and bodyguard nodding. He appreciatively acknowledged – graciously greeted, the two gentlemen. His stomach sounded – worryingly whining, as he's starving. His cellphone chimed – blaringly beeping, a specific ringtone.

He rapidly reacted – obviously obediently, to Mr. Crawford's call. He stayed silent – much mild-mannered, just only listening. He simply settled – agreeing along, without a protest. He received recognition – plenty praise, especially for complying.

"I won't be home for dinner tonight, either. Of course, I apologize for the inconvenience. After all, I wanted to talk to you about your progress."

"It's alright, Mr. Crawford. I'll be okay on my own. I'll just order from a restaurant. But I'm afraid I'm not making much progress."

"I suppose that's to be expected. You're still adjusting to this routine. However, I advise you to take your medication whenever a headache or migraine comes along. Since pain can hinder your progress, I also advise you to up the dosage during these episodes as well."

"Don't worry, sir. Oh, I got one last night. That young man confronted me at home. Then I felt a horrible pain in my head. Though I took the pill you prescribed me. Those pills numbed everything."

"I'm pleased to hear that the medication worked … efficiently. If you ever run out, just know that you have an unlimited number of refills available. And I strongly recommend avoiding that young man, such individuals like him cannot be trusted."

"Oh, I will. He seems like an unsavory character."

"That's a good boy. I only wish my son would've listened to me, like you're doing. I must've failed somewhere along the way with my son."

"You don't know that."

"It's makes sense. Anyhow, I won't do the same with you."

"Thank you for taking care of me. It means the world, that I have someone who's willing to go so far to help me recover."

"And I should thank you for giving my life meaning again."

XOXO

He was home.

He lazily lounged – blissfully daydreaming, by the lake. He giggled gleefully – sensing scales, his hand brushing goldfishes. He playfully petted – tentatively touching, the delighting beautiful goldfishes. He saw something – grand gravestone, which oblivious goldfishes circled.

He slowly stood – hugging himself, contemplating Mr. Crawford's son's grave. He bent down – sending sunflowers, to the lonely grave. It seamlessly sank – descending down, on the grey gravestone. It beamed brightly – clear contrast, in the dark depths.

"That's enough, Hide. It's getting dark out. I think you should come inside now."

"Don't worry, sir. I'll head back inside soon. Can you just tell me more about Mr. Crawford's son?"

"His name was Nathaniel Crawford. He was a fool in love. I would know because I was training to become his bodyguard."

"Who did Nathaniel love, though?"

"The poor boy was head over heels for some girl he met at school. She was a _ghoul_ but hid her true nature so well. It's why Mr. Crawford wasn't concerned about Nathaniel in the beginning. He just thought that this was a phase."

"When did Mr. Crawford find out what was really going on?"

"Mr. Crawford saw bruises and bitemarks on Nathaniel's body. He locked Nathaniel in his bedroom, forbade Nathaniel from leaving the premises. He contacted a vigilante organization, so they could hunt down the _ghoul _Nathaniel was in _love _with."

"Did that work?"

"Unfortunately, Nathaniel snuck out from the balcony. While the vigilantes were about to shoot the _ghoul_, Nathaniel took the bullet for her."

"Oh, my god."

"And Nathaniel died from blood loss while being rushed to the hospital."

"I'm so sorry."

"The _ghoul _ran off and was never seen again."

"I hope they bring her to justice."

"I know, I know. I wish she was dead, too. I miss Nathaniel a lot. He had so much going for him."

"I would think so."

"I want to show you some pictures of him. You look a lot like him. It's like I'm seeing him again whenever I look at you."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Well, Nathaniel was a model."

XOXO

He heard rustling.

He still slept – absolutely absorbed, in his dream. He felt fluttering – breeze blowing, the balcony doors open. He was worried – simply spooked, then swiftly sat up. He frantically fumbled – tapping things, until the lights were on.

He saw someone – shadowy silhouette, however indiscernible. He started screaming – throwing things, except they dodged. He daringly darted – clumsily charging, but was caught. He became bound – practically pressed, to the dresser.

"What has he done to you?"

"How dare you touch me?!"

"Why can't you remember me?"

"Let go of me!"

"Will you look at yourself in the mirror?"

"Unhand me!"

"You're acting like a different person."

"Help!"

"I miss you, Hide."

"Creep …"

"I want you back."

"Ugh …"

"I wish you could remember me."

"Ow …"

XOXO

His head throbbed.

He dropped down – woefully wailing, as his head pounded. He convulsed critically – shaking severely, with immeasurable pain. He wondered why – completely confused, though this can't go on. He was weak – deeply debilitated, seeing strange flashing colors.

He felt fingers – practically prying, his lips open. He swallowed something – prescribed pills, which worked wonderfully. He lay limply – carefully carried, tucked in bed. He rested relatively – noticeably numb, perhaps losing consciousness.

"I'm so sorry, Hide."

"My head … pain is gone …"

"I know what that medication does, but I couldn't stand seeing you like that."

"I feel … nothing … numbed."

"This isn't just my decision to make. It was yours as well, but you're not yourself right now."

"I'm … so tired."

"It's just, maybe you're better off not remembering me at all."

"… tired."

"Goodnight, my sleeping beauty."

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? Leave me your thoughts.


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